You Should Probably Use “Probably” Correctly

Some people truly neglect the importance of syntax.

The other day, I was speaking to a girl who I had just met for the first time at my friend’s wedding. She was telling me about her long highway drive with her boyfriend to get to the wedding. “My boyfriend was speeding,” she said. “We probably got a ticket.”

“How do you probably get a ticket?” I asked her. “Did you not stop at E-Z Pass or something?”

“No. We were going so fast that the cop pulled us over.”

I was even more confused. “So how did you probably get a ticket? Don’t you know if you received a ticket or not? Or do cops in Ohio write the ticket and then mail it to you?”

“Umm. No,” she said and rolled her eyes, snorting out air like a young bull. “I’m saying, it’s like we PROBABLY got a ticket?”

Did the cop get hit by a speeding car or did aliens come down and abduct him? What the hell is she talking about? I thought. So I asked some more clarifying questions.

“No. The cop wrote us the ticket.”

“Then why do you keep saying that you probably got a ticket?” I wondered sincerely.

“Fine. WE GOT A TICKET,” she said, enunciating every word. She turned to her friend, exhaled bovinely, and said, “Some people just don’t have a sense of humor.”

“Probably,” I told her, respecting the word.


Photo by Elvert Barnes

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